Love or Lust?

JovialGuise

New Member
Kouhai
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i am quite decided that both love and lust exist, but they are two different things. are they not? I recognise that there are different types of love, and different degrees and forms of lust and so on...

...but...what does everyone else believe? my friends and i were having a discussion on a similiar train of thought and i wanted to compare our thoughts with whoever felt like posting.
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What are your thoughts? Do love and lust exist? together or seperately? Or is love just a higher form of lust?
 

Primula

-プリムラ こいびと
Retired
Well lust can exist by itself although in most case if it exist by itself then there be alot of illigal action happening. If you know what Im talking about. As in Love it will eventually get to lust at some point of their love lol.
 

maqubex

-san
Kouhai
They are diffrent.
Though they may inter-mingle.
Like, you may lust after someone even though you know that you may never get along with that person. In this case, love can never transpire.
This is just my thought though.
In most cases, love gives rise to lust....
 

Nioki

-dono
Sempai
QUOTE i am quite decided that both love and lust exist, but they are two different things. are they not? I recognise that there are different types of love, and different degrees and forms of lust and so on...

...but...what does everyone else believe? my friends and i were having a discussion on a similiar train of thought and i wanted to compare our thoughts with whoever felt like posting. What are your thoughts? Do love and lust exist? together or seperately? Or is love just a higher form of lust?

I agree with you JovialGuise that love and lust are different things and that they both have many different, so to say, levels and types. Usually though they aren't completly seperate from each other. but I myself have a belief that there is also a "True Love" or "Pure Love" (smth similar to Love without lust at all).



QUOTE As in Love it will eventually get to lust at some point of their love lol.

QUOTE In most cases, love gives rise to lust....

I can't entirely agree with that. Though it is smth that mostly happens nowadays, it just a matter of whether one can overcome the basic instinct that we have.
When you think about it, probably the "pervert" kind of guys that like to say "I prefer just looking" or "I'm comfortable just breathing the air", are several steps nearer to having overcome it than most fuutsu people.


QUOTE Like, you may lust after someone even though you know that you may never get along with that person. In this case, love can never transpire.

Neither do I agree with this. Love isn't only love when there are two people sharing it. You can love smb unanswered. And yet LOVE them, no more, no less.
Say you really care for that person, you are ready to do anything just to see that persons smile, even if not directed at you; you don't expect anything in return, but a small warm feeling deep inside you. Isn't that love to? You can call it madness, obsession or whatever. But unlike other instances, when people like that marry, the couples stay with each other till the end, and not for money or only because
of children.
 

dchaosblade

- Lord of Chaos
Retired
I think that both love and lust exist, as two separate entities with an intertwined existence.
Both can exist without the other, and they can both exist simultaneously. Love is feeling for someone intellectually, liking them for their personality, their ideology, their connection to you or whatever else.
Lust is feeling for someone physically, liking them for their looks, or the way they carry themselves, or what have you.

That isn't to say that you can't love someone because of their looks, or that you can't lust for someone b/c of their intelligence - neither of them have bounds such as that. Usually [not always] though, lust is a want for stimulation (whether it be physical or mental) and love is a want for the lesser things - as simple as a smile, or a glance.

You love your siblings, your parents, your grandparents, and your friends - but it doesn't mean you lust for them, or that you ever will. You can lust after any number of people, but it doesn't mean you'll love them, or even know their name.
But you can love someone, and have that lead to lust; or lust after someone, and have love come to exist.

The line between the two is very fine and sometimes hard to distinguish; but they do exist as two different entities, even if they sometimes coexist in every way.
 

mamori

-sama
Sempai
basic breakdown;

Lust: sex, wanting to have sex

Love: wanting that person to be happy/doing what is best for them


not love: making it look like you want them to be happy, so that they will have sex with you.
 

dchaosblade

- Lord of Chaos
Retired
Wow, talk about being blunt mamori.

Even if it was blunt though, I'll say that it isn't far from the truth. I will point out though that lust doesn't only imply sexual connotations. As I said before, you can lust after someone for their intelligence. I think it's more of the stimulation one can obtain (which in the case of sex is physical, but isn't limited to the physical realm only).

Edit: As a reference, here's the "official" definition (taken from dictionary.com)
lust /lŒst/ P
–noun
1. intense sexual desire or appetite.
...
3. a passionate or overmastering desire or craving (usually fol. by for): a lust for power.
4. ardent enthusiasm; zest; relish: an enviable lust for life.
5. Obsolete.
a. pleasure or delight.
b. desire; inclination; wish.
–verb (used without object)
...
7. to have a yearning or desire; have a strong or excessive craving (often fol. by for or after).



love /lŒv/ noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
–noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
...
9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.


(note: all those definitions skipped are basically the same thing as previous definitions, or do not pertain to the discussion; such as love being used in tennis to denote a score of zero)
 

deadlylazers

-san
Kouhai
hmm....
taking dchaosblade's definition of lust (5b) "desire; inclination; wish.":

A person can lust for love, such that said person loves another just becuase he/she lusts (in the wanting to have sex way) for the otherperson
 

Yuki Shiido

-chan
Kouhai
Hm. I think love and lust are seperate, but they can be together as well. Lust can be without love... a pure sexual desire. But romantic love can have lust as well (like, when a loving couple has sex).
 

PadUnregistere

-chan
Kouhai
I am the only person who thinks love is a higher form of lust
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.


The reason I think this (i am a jerk) is I can't see myself getting attracted to someone I perceive as ugly on the outside who may be wonderful on the inside.
 

EggBeast

- deska`
Retired
I think the best way I could put it is...

I could definitely fall in love with a chimpanzee who knew sign-language, or a super-intelligent robot, perhaps.

However, I could never LUST after said chimp/uber-robot, not physically, anyhow, I don't think there's really too much more to say about this topic that you couldn't get from Webster's, because it all depends upon how you define love and lust.
 

deadlylazers

-san
Kouhai
QUOTE (EggBeast @ Jan 02 2008, 05:34 AM)I think the best way I could put it is...

I could definitely fall in love with a chimpanzee who knew sign-language, or a super-intelligent robot, perhaps.

However, I could never LUST after said chimp/uber-robot, not physically, anyhow, I don't think there's really too much more to say about this topic that you couldn't get from Webster's, because it all depends upon how you define love and lust.

There are some sickos out there that do lust for such (psuedo)primates
 

mcatmisdaillest

New Member
Kouhai
well of course love and lust are two totally different things. The two can exist without the other but can also compliment each other as well. If you love someone and lust is not a factor then that is probably someone like your sibling or maybe a friend who you just really care about deeply but not on a sexual level. When you lust for someone then it's the desire for pure self satisfaction like with say, an attractive guy or girl you met at the mall. When you love and lust for someone then in my mind that is what a healthy more than friends relationship should be. It's impossible to love or even like someone as a girlfriend or boyfriend if you do not lust for them at least slightly. If there is no lust (which is basically attraction) then you and said person are just friends no matter how close you may be.
 

jayden63

-chi
Kouhai
Lust is selfish.
Love is Selfless.

In otherwords. If you lust after someone you really don't care about them or their feelings. Its all about you getting what you want (ie. them). However, if you love someone, your willing to put up with all of their crap, even when you don't get what you want, today, tomorrow, and for the rest of time.
 

Agaidos

-chan
Kouhai
Love is appreiciation of the person entirely.lust is centered around sexual desire, and nothing more.
i dunno, i say its better to lust than to love, than to have ever loved at all
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ok bad joke, but really.love is a big waste of time, beautifull words, and selfless passion for another person.give up on love....it doesnt exist!
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teari82

New Member
Kouhai
i think that love and lust can't be so easily defined.. and also the boundaries aren't that obvious as well.. assuming that we're talking about romantic love

how can you truly say that you DO love someone when you don't feel physically attracted to them at all?
how can you know that you truly DON'T love someone when you think about them all night and day lusting after their body?
 

EggBeast

- deska`
Retired
QUOTE (teari82 @ Feb 13 2008, 08:33 AM) i think that love and lust can't be so easily defined.. and also the boundaries aren't that obvious as well..
I concur! But who said love had to be anything absolute? I think love is different between different people. Different people love different things about the people they love, feel the love in different ways, express the love in different ways.

So I'd say the most accurate answer to this threads overarching question, "Is love a higher form of lust?", would be "sometimes". Although I admit that for most every solid couples, the two go hand-in-hand. Psychology shows that the majority of guys end up with girls who are on about the same scale of appearances (and vis versa), and also that guys tend to fall for girls who resemble their mother (which is almost creepy when you think about it...), so just looking statistically at it, yeah, most couples do have some physical attraction, or lust.
 

julez

-chibi
Retired
There is a theory that true love contains three things: Passion, Intimacy and Commitment. I posted about Sterberg's triangular theory of love before on the boards, here is a link love triangle.

I think that lust is similar to infatuation, the passion is there but the commitment and intimacy is lacking..

That said, I agree that it is not easy to know yourself what you are feeling exactly.
The word love is being thrown around excessively these days.. so much so that the word has lost it's grand meaning. (at least to me it has...)
 
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