QUOTE (warita200 @ Sep 25 2006, 09:54 AM) self esteem and me... I would say mine is low... I have had a hard childhood, I have been subject to non stop abuse in school and at home too. It is hard for me to believe in myself. Sometimes I think that I am pretty lucky in my life, I am relatively smart, I dont have any health problems, my looks arent so bad either..... but sometimes I get depressed and dont see any sense in life. There were times in my life, when I thought I couldnt bear with it any longer..... but I was too much of a coward to put an end to my misery.
Right now I feel, that my life has taken a new turn. I am satisfied with my life (more or less, it is human nature not to be satisfied, no matter what!) But I still have hard time interacting with ppl, Some ppl think I am arrogant. When I hear that, I always have to laugh. If I was arrogant, then that would mean I consider myself superior, right? And when I am superior, then I dont have any self esteem problems, right? Maybe that arrogance of mine is more of a self defence mechanism I developed over the years. So, in case somebody thinks I am arrogant, please dont think that.
i empathize with you alot on this, and these days alot of times people view my actions and deeds superior or incredible in comparision with theirs. i obviously cannot vocalize agreement with this without seeming as though i am arrogant. yet to vocalize they are just as capable as i am or simply that bad circumstances and obstacles in my past that have forced me in some ways to dedicate time towards improving my abilities for the sake of survival seems to them as either farcical or degrading to them.
it's within others that their opinions of meexist, my own opinions of myself i refuse to vocalize to the general public, most of which isthat i'm no better or worse than they are, I'm a human being with strengths and weaknesses and if i'm good at something, fine. if not, fine. I'm not the best, i'm not trying to be, I'm simply trying to perfect myself.